Unable to forget

As If I'm blindfolded,
Among so many chances to change the way I feel,
Even if I try to remove and erase this hatred,
Even If I try to forget and Forgive,
I just can't get over it,
I can't help but feel disgusted whenever I see her,
To lie about my feelings, so that I wouldn't hurt her,
To deceive her,
To make her believe that I actually care,
She can't see the real me, born from the shadows of my inner thoughts,
born from the old ink spilled over the white sheet of paper,
Now that pure, whiteness is stained with dark, sad black color,
It would be nice if there was hope to regain the relationship,
back to what it was like before,
But to me it seems, as If I held back for too long,
Kept tolerating her behavior,
Let it spread inside me,
It took over me,
So then I started to hate who I've become,
Feeling like a wasted paper thrown into trash,
Once useful, and now, no more.

The Lost Road

Only sometimes I realize how small my existence is,

and no matter how hard I wish for the change,

that light never shines,

it just sinks deeper and deeper.

I'm reaching out both of my hands with all my might,

reaching out, still hoping that someone may notice,

this shallow screams of mine,

that are eaten by storm of night.

-It was just a lightning-

Still hoping for the change,

still believing,

still holding onto the tiny ray of light,

preciously cherishing it on the top of my palm.

-It was just a thunder-

Even if those tears dry,

even if the wounds heal,

at those places were tears used to flow,

only dry salt remains,

and as for the wounds I feel,

It seems the scars will leave.

I've been broken so many times,

Shattered into millions of pieces,

Like an incomplete puzzle.

But silently, I just bit my lip, 

and no matter how many times I got hit,

I kept standing up,

with the will to fight,

with the will to overcome.

They say that once people have been hurt they became stronger,

But how many times more do I have to get hit,

and still stay standing?

Will I always feel like a bird in the cage,

Whose freedom was taken away?

Farewell My Friend

Goodbye, 
goodbye dear my friend,
At least once again I wanted to see your smile.

Farewell,
For we wont meet again,
At the very end I wanted to say the farewell words.

Goodbye my dear friend,
It seems that the day to bid our farewell has come,
I wont be able to see your smile ever again.

Goodbye, 
Dear my friend,
I have lost a place to go back to,
So, at the very end I wanted to apologize for hurting you.,
But now, its too late.

Couldn't Reach you

Ever since that moment,

I was given a punishment for the sins that I must atone,

Those feelings that couldn't reach you...

All because I let go of your hand...

I lost the one I loved the most,

and I'm the one at fault.

If I hadn't let go of your hand,

Would you still be by my side?

If I hadn't... at that time.

My memories are becoming blurry,

I can hardly remember what it used to be like,

To Have you by my side.

The pain is crushing me,

Eating away my soul,

I'm wondering around the frozen town,

Where one minute seems like hundreds of years,

But the time still passes, slowly as the ice melts.

Slowly I will forget my goal,

and the time we spent together...